Stress, Stress and More Stress!

Roger's First Illustration

Roger’s First Illustration

Stress right now is an understatement. With two weeks left to go until my first festival performance at Woordfees (Word Festival), not much is going according to plan because I’ve been rehearsing like mad on the show that’s going to KKNK in April and the other Woordfees show that I’m playing in called Barakat.

If you’ve been following my posts you’d know that the show we’re doing at Woordfees is called Gemenge Oorsprong: Hemel in Aardse Kruike (Mixed Heritage: Heaven in Earthen Vessels) and it’s been written entirely by myself, Raynie and Sam. The image above is the first illustration that’s been done by Roger Williams for the show’s promotional segment, which is intended to form part of both a physical and digital poster and a flash animated online video.

This first promotional video was filmed by Raynie last week Saturday at our first rehearsal with the accompanists Keenan Stevens (Guitar) and David Dos Santos (Drums). It serves as somewhat of a behind the scenes/sneak peek into the first semblance of the show coming together, with a brief background on our themes – being provided by Sam and I. Let me know what you think about it.

Raynie did a great job of editing all that together, now the challenge of getting everyone together for rehearsals is the next challenge.

On other fronts, I’m yet to receive a callback notification for that audition I did two weeks ago, and I still have this huge bald patch on the top of my head. For the last two weeks I’ve been wearing a cap to work every day so as not to freak my co-workers out. When they did find out that I have a bald patch, I was bombarded with questions about why I did it and now all know that I’m waiting for that callback phone call/email. I was hoping to keep this hairstyle ’til my callback audition, but the odds are slim that it might still be happening since a few other people I know have already gone for their callbacks.

Extreme Makeover1I have a suspicion however that they might not have called me back because I told them I work in the marketing industry and they’re more than likely going with professional actors who one, absolutely NEED work and two, don’t have much in terms of a day job holding them down. That’s the only thing I can assume since my audition I felt went really well, despite not being the world’s best dancer.

I’m not too bummed about it though because I almost always brace for the worst. Failing a lot can do that to you. Experiences are not as rich as they could be because anything can happen, whether good or bad – it can all change in the next five seconds.

I also feel like many people in my life put dampers on my aspirations, not because they inherently want to; but rather because life has taught them to settle, given them a few hard knocks and dulled their fires. I even wrote an interesting poem this week after I had a conversation with my dad about where my life is going. I’ll post up it up here soon when it’s ready. Those talks with my dad often leave me feeling more discouraged than encouraged and that’s when I feel like an idiot for spending most of my spare time doing music and being creative; when I should be coming up with a meaningful financial scheme that will elevate my social status.

Despite all the negative, I know a lot of people who are also so positive all the time – like they’re living in some kind of other universe, like they’ve figured it all out already and I haven’t! But then, no-ones really figured it all out yet – have they?

Tomorrow morning I will be evening out my hair because the director of the KKNK show has asked me to sort it out. We are doing the show’s photo shoot tomorrow and I have to look neat.

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9 Comments

  1. Even if you don’t make it real big in the music industry, what truly matters is you are doing something that fires you up.
    I’ve supported my son’s talent in music in his childhood and teenage years, yet he turned his back on it because he prefers to make in technology. He just graduated from an Engineering school. I guess that’s his true passion. There was nothing I could do. I had to give in.
    I wish you were my son – mainly because I believe Science and Maths are the tools for living but Music and Arts are the reasons for living. Your Dad will come to accept someday soon. Hopefully.
    Keep it up, Josh.

    • Thank you for the comment Marj/Lady from Manila πŸ™‚ Yes, I guess if you’re “called” for something you can’t fully articulate it to others who don’t really understand why that drive and passion is there in the first place. My dad wants me to follow a certain path in life, to become a corporate boss – somebody who makes loads of money and I suppose – someone who he can feel proud to tell others about when they say their kids have business degrees and are working for huge multi-national companies. Although I understand that rationale, I have very little desire to follow it. I guess I’m wired differently and if so, it leads me to wonder why? πŸ™‚ that’s the hardest part.

      I wish I had more elders who felt the same way that you do about arts and the support thereof. Nowadays, it seems like the default advice is: “Get a job, make lots of money – forget arts, there’s no money in that!” So…

      Thanks again for the encouraging words, I really appreciate it πŸ™‚

      • My pleasure. As you can see, I’m bohemian. πŸ™‚ With a lot of sense, though.
        Love and respect your parents but do follow your heart and your dreams. Always.
        Good luck and take care.

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